01 02 03 My Spreadsheet Brain: Why having the perfect marriage is hard and stuff 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

Why having the perfect marriage is hard and stuff

Being in a perfect marriage is hard work
Yes, I have the perfect marriage. Don't you?
I mean, I married my husband and he's the perfect guy for me.
And since I am also perfect for him, and all of that, this must mean that we have the perfect marriage, right?

Pre-Dating: When we were friends, I was skinny and he wore broken jeans
I remember all the sleepless nights, lying in bed with my cellphone glued to my hand, typing away furiously and waiting anxiously for him to reply to my texts. And the days when we would drag out the moments between being together and him going home. I could not wait to get married then!

I mean, we planned our wedding before we even got engaged! In fact, we spoke about getting married before we started dating. Actually, we spoke about dating while we were still friends. It seems like we were always so over eager to get into a serious relationship that would result in us being married to each other.
We. Could. Not. Wait!

Hmm Facebook, I wasn't Luchae WILLIAMS back then :) 
Fast forward a few years, a wedding and a baby later.
Things look a little bit different to what we both had in mind.
Marriage was meant to be sunshine and roses and me cooking the perfect meals while he secretly writes me love letters.
Yeah, it's not quite that..
It's much more "babe, did you buy bread?" "babe, can you please go and buy bread?" "baby, why didn't you buy the bread yet?" "babe, must I go buy the bread myself?" (from any one of us on any given day)
I mean, we didnt even consider the fact that we need to buy bread every day, when we had hearts in our eyes.
No sir, food did not matter. Bills did not matter.
Love was all we needed.

Marriage Day 16/12/2013
But reality check: Life is real!
Kids need to be dropped off and picked up from school, grocery shopping needs to be done and hey, someone needs to clean the darn house!
Where's the time to work on this perfect marriage we dreamt of?

Two years in and I am learning that marriage is a journey... it's not a destination.
You don't just say 'I do' and end up in a land where you now have a husband/wife and everything is rosy and perky and perfect.

Honeymoons: What dreams are made of
No ways, it's more like, you say 'I do' and then get on the train together and work towards being the perfect partner for your wife/husband.
And yar, while being on said train, you might feel a bit overcrowded.
Maybe you need to use the loo now and then, but you have a kid on your lap.
Maybe you wanted the window seat and oh look, he insists on sitting at the window.
The situation is not exactly perfect.
But when you wake up each morning and choose each other all over again and choose to stay together, well, then that means you have the perfect marriage FOR YOU.

A big part of being married to someone who happens to not be an exact replica of me has taught me tough lessons on how to be selfless.
I am learning the beautiful art of forgiving more freely and saying 'I'm sorry' more easily.
After a while, who left the toothpaste uncapped is less important than snuggling up behind your husbands back at night.
Peace eventually takes precedence over being right.
And having the perfect marriage means being perfect for each other, more than self gratification.

The Bible says that he who finds a wife find a good thing.
It also says that where there is unity God commands His blessing over it.
I challenge myself to always remain that "good thing" in my hubstophers life and to remember that we are at our strongest when we are united.

Having the perfect marriage is hard and stuff.
But oh the perks of being the best kind of wife to my husband... so worth it all!



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