Happy Monday, but its actually Tuesday, but it feels like a Monday!
So I wanted to blog something, but then I had soooo many things on my mind that I couldn't decide what I actually wanted to say over here.
And then I randomly started singing one of my very random songs which I wrote randonly (and then re-wrote) (and then kinda re-wrote again) a few years ago. Random.
Originally, it was meant to be an Avril Lavigne rock n roll "Ima baaaad girl" song, written for a friend of a friend. And then when recording was indefinitely postponed, I shoved said song away in the back of my mind.
A few years later I met another rock (minus the "n roll") person who was contemplating reuniting his all-male-rock-styled band. So I changed the lyric a bit to make it more "I'm an angry, hurt but very emotional guy" and it sounded really rad! Until the band didn't actually get back together, and the song was once again forgotten.
Anyways, and then I met Jesus! (*singing:* "ohhhh yeahhhhhhhh-eahhhh!") and decided to change the lyric AGAIN to make it more "Ima happy clappy born-again chappy, but also really awesome, because Jesus is my hope." So yeah... the last version of the song, I literally wrote like... now.
Okay, so with that said, here are the 3 versions of the song.
I wish I could upload like, sound clips or something.
But then again, maybe its for the best.
Girl "Avril Lavigne" Version: Be Me I tried to fit into your mould, I gave you most of the control. But ended up not feeling home, I can't hold on till you let go. And now you step to me and say, you don't like it when I'm this way. But see I never really asked, just what you thought about my class.
And though you're trying hard to show, how you think that I should live Dont need criticism anymore, my life's good enough as it is!
Chorus I don't need permission, to fuel my own existence, I wana do the things I do, the way I feels not up to you If you don't like the things I say, why don't you just walk away As long as I can feel and breathe, I'ma be me!
Boy "Rock Band" version: Not so bad I tried to fit into your mould; I gave you most of the control, But ended up losing my soul, I can't hold on till you let go. Coz your sweet lies were mocking me, chipping at my identity, Bending me till I start to crack, mentioning all the things I lack.
I breathe in your mistempered words, and dream in all unspoken verbs, But through it all I fought to break lose, break lose, from your noose.
Chorus The pressures mounting and I cannot feel my feet no more. They're walking towards the kind of man I said I'll be before. Your constant influence had be convinced I'm flawed, while quietly, A little voice inside, said it's not so bad, not so bad to be me.
New (Better) Version: Fires burning I tried to fit into the mould; I gave up most of the control, But ended up betting my soul, I never thought I'd be made whole. My eyes were shut but now I see the truth 'bout my identity, The truth behind my destiny, the root of my prosperity.
I breathe and live Your very word, my dreams are passions that You've stirred, And through it all I know I can't lose, can't lose, I've got You.
Chorus The fires burning and I cannot see myself no more, My heart is turning for the things that I know You long for And I'm convinced that neither life nor death nor absolutely anything Could ever separate from the love that You, love You, give me